the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
