so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
