I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
