Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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