The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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