Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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