i think my tv is drunk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize