I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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