I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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