the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
