my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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