New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.