I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia