Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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