Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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