But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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