when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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