I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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