It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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