I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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