I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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