Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
