Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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