if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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