i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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