I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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