so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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