So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
