sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
