Where is the hickey?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
