so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize