we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
