if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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