Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
