it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
