The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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