my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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