I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize