just tell him i said nine months
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
