you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
