smell my finger.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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