I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
