yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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