He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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