Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize