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We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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