I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.