I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
a search helicopter?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize