We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize