good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He better not be in your backpack
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
