question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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