Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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