hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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