dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
