My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
