The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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