At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
