just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
