1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
